August Issue

Hello everyone! It's been a flurry of activity getting everyone's pieces clothed, brushed, fed and shoved into  our August issue but we did it. Thank you to all the lovely people who put all their sweat and mostly blood into this issue. Thank you again to our Murder of Editors for taking their time to dissect each word. Thanks Tex for restraining of scaring off any contributors with your unappetizing diet.

My pleasure, darling.

Drum roll please!

Drrrrrrrummm roooollllllllllll

The August issue!

Open publication - Free publishing - More dark

UPDATE: To download a PDF of the issue, visit our bookshelf at http://issuu.com/underneaththejunipertree. Open the publication and underneath the issue is an option to download or print the issue. 

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August Issue Sneak Peek: The Unforgiving Tree

Don't miss our tragic take on Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree. It will sadden you, yes, but it will also throw you from your chair and pull a cry of victory from your mouth. Join us on August 1st to read this tantalizing tale of turmoil and triumph!

The tree was so angry!

The tree was distraught!

The little boy ought to be caught!

And then tied into a granny knot.

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Don't forget to check out our July issue

The Choose Your Own Mystery Winner!

It was a fine, fine challenge this week with a great turnout. Tex and I had to scramble our brains to choose only one person whose piece rose above the rest.

Creme de la creme! Blood de la blood!

So the winner of the Choose Your Own Mystery challenge and the next person heading into fame and victory in the August issue is....

Samantha Kymmelle-Harvey!!!! With her piece Because of Brussels Sprouts. Here is a snippet from her extraordinary piece:

“Greedy girl!” said a little wisp of white. It pulled her to the ground, raining scarlet droplets on her face. “You can’t make me share! I’ll eat you next if you try!”


You'll have to come back August 1st to catch the rest.


Thank you all for sending in your creative babies and good luck with the Blast from the Past - Rats Edition. We await your genius at our inbox.

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Don't forget to check out our July issue

New Challenge - Blast from the Past: Rats Edition

Good Saturday, poppets! Today is your deadline for the Choose You Own Mystery challenge. You have until midnight tonight (Pacific time) to get your entries in. Entries that are late will be tossed in the incinerator and made into ornaments.

Now on to bigger and more different similar things!

A shortage of toes!

Quite, poppets, Tex has been rationing his toe snacks. Please donate more toes. 

Yes, the plumpish ones are best.

Now – our New Challenge!

Blast from the Past: Rats Edition

In under 500 words, write us a piece inspired by this photo. Your piece can be poetry or a short story as long as it is under 500 words. If you can think of other creative ways to be inspired by this photo, go ahead and surprise us! The winner (or winners) of the challenge will be featured in the September issue!

Deadline for submissions has changed. We are now giving you TWO WEEKS to submit your piece so they better be good!

Deadline for submission: Saturday, August 6. The winners will be announced Monday, August 8.

With your submission please put in the subject line "Blast from the Past - Rats Edition". 

For the name of your document please put your story/artwork name, underscore and your name. Ex: ToesForEating_MarjorieMerle.doc

You can submit your work as a Word document or stick it directly in the email to junipertreelit@gmail.com and please forgive us in advance if we don't write back to you immediately. Tex is fairly anal about reading and viewing everything we get. With your submission please tell us a little bit about yourself and please send us your website if you have one. If you don't have one, get one. They are free, you know.

For the rest of the guidelines and what should not be submitted, go to our Submissions & Guidelines page.

We look forward to your creative mind-doodles!

And remember that your Time Travel submission deadline is in TWO DAYS!!!!! The winner will be featured in our August issue so let's hear your stories.

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Don't forget to check out our July issue

Suppen Kaspar - Martin Thoburn

Jason Smith recently sent us a few tales to read from the book Struwwelpeter. We were partial to the naughty boy Augustus who would not eat his soup. Things do not end well for August. Children, eat your soup, mind.


I shall have mine with toes upon crumpets.


So you shall. Enjoy.





Suppen Kaspar
Created by Martin Thoburn

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Don't forget to check out our July issue

The Devil Can't Help You Here - Mark Boliek

Darlinks! Dearestlinks! Poppets!

Here at Underneath The Juniper Tree we are open to all sorts of spooky mayhem in all sorts of mediums. Mark Boliek sent us a song, chatz, called "The Devil Can't Help You Here". And it goes along with his book. Is there no end to the creativity? Here is the cover for his book The Mahogany Door for which the music was written. Look, listen and enjoy.

 

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Don't forget to check out our July issue

Sunday Poetry: Dirty Donald - Dawn Pisturino & Jason Smith

Dirty Donald!

His hair, full of lice,

Grows down to his shoulders,

A haven for mice.

His teeth are all rotten,

Mildewed and black,

His tongue is so long,

He could pass for a yak.

His breath stinks of corpses

Dug fresh from their graves,

A delicate morsel

He constantly craves.

He glares at the ravens,

Surrounding his head,

With murderous eyes,

Pronouncing them dead.

Then yanks out their feathers

And nibbles their toes,

Lining them up

In neat little rows.

His clothes are so tattered,

The buzzards all say,

“What a fine looking fellow!

Let’s eat him today!”

Dirty Donald

Written by Dawn Pisturino

Illustrated by Jason Smith

Would you like to see your limerick or poem up on Sunday Poetry? Email it to us at junipertreelit@gmail.com and put "Sunday Poetry" in the subject line.

Don't forget to check out our July issue

Be one of our Contributors

Being one of our contributors is hard work. Having to write scary stories until they cry,

eating toes to keep invigorated,

running into dark forests to find the fantastically ferocious creatures that inspire their stories; it's really something to be in awe about.

Do you think you could do what our contributors do? Why don't you give it a shot: we are accepting general submissions of short stories (2000 word maximum), poetry, limericks, doodles, drawings, paintings, ghost rants, robot rhymes,

severed toes,

(please send those to Tex only) and any sort of rambunctious and stupendous stanza you might have secretly stowed away in that brain of yours.

Tell your friends. Your neighbors. Deceased ancestors.

Don't forget to check out our July issue

In The Street - Dorothy Livesay & Evan Heasman

In rainy weather

Who can tell

Whether we weep

Or not?

I dread the sun

For his fierce honesty.

In The Street

Written by Dorothy Livesay

Illustrated by Evan Heasman

Don't forget to check out our July issue

The Crooked Man: Animated Short - Dries Bastiaensen

Our lovely friend and contributor Ken Lamug revealed this gem to us the other day and we wanted to share it with you. It was all I could do to get it out of Tex's greedy little grabby hands.

My eyes saw it first. I was only going to add it to my...selection of...delectables.

We hope you enjoy this animated short before Tex eats it all up.






The Crooked Man
Animation by Dries Bastiaensen


Don't forget to check out our July issue.

The Wait - Wyatt Willis & Evan Heasman

Adèle sat in the highest bough of the red eucalyptus tree with her tiny, white hands folded in her lap. Below sat the Wolf running its tongue along its pearly, sharp teeth that glinted in the moonlight every time Adèle looked down. The Wolf’s lips curled back into a wicked grin.

I can wait, child. For years I can wait. You will grow weary and I will be here.

Adèle found herself slouching from exhaustion and pulled her back up straight to help keep alert. How long had it been, now? Three hours? Three days? Time cannot not be measured when the moon never moves and the sun never returns. She rubbed her toes that were beginning to tingle from the lack of blood.

She lay back into the rustling leaves of the tree. They gave off a red glow on her skin. Like blood, she thought. She looked up into the black sky that seemed so near for all its darkness. She had to put a hand in front of her face to remind her that her eyes were still open.

“I cannot fall asleep,” she thought, “or I will fall through these thin branches and be eaten, surely.” But her lids were heavy like stones and with each blink her body said, yes, yes it is nice to sleep, isn’t it?

Whether it was a sound or a movement that woke her, Adèle sat up with a start. She was already slipping through the arms of the tree.

Do not worry, precious gem, the Wolf hissed below, I am still here when you fall.

Not ‘if’ but ‘when’. Adèle shivered at the sweetness of the Wolf’s call. She would not close her eyes again.

She looked out over the land that was dotted with murky figures; forests spread out in clumps. She could only imagine what sort of horrors lived in those trees when something so terrible as the Wolf lived out in the open. She could barely distinguish the land from the sky; the varying black shapes seeped into each other. Off in the distance, little dots of light winked. She couldn’t tell if they were a village or the stars.

Adèle looked up into the velvety sky trying to get the image of the Wolf out of her mind but all she could see was its razorback fur and its haunting red eyes. She squeezed her eyes shut but could not get rid of the image. She rolled over and rested her head against the leaves.

“I’ll only lay here a moment and then,” her mouth stretched into a yawn, “I’ll figure out what to do.”

I will be here, child.

It wasn’t long after Adèle drifted off that she realized there were two red eyes looking directly at her. And then four eyes. And then hundreds of red eyes glowed around her. Every way she turned there were red eyes bearing down into hers.

“No!” She screamed. “No! NO NO NO-NO-NO!”

But it was too late.

Adèle’s tiny body slipped through the sparse twigs of the red eucalyptus tree and fell down, down, down into darkness and pearly, sharp teeth.

The Wait

Written by Wyatt Willis

Illustrated by Evan Heasman 

Monthly Contest - Time Travel

Here at UTJT, we not only sneak into dark forests and romp in swamps, we also slip through space in our marvelously metal time machine!

This month's contest is all about time travel. Perhaps your characters glide through time with a jet pack not unlike this image to the left here. Or maybe they use giant, glossy baubles? Or maybe they don't need a time machine at all, instead flying through time by entering a cave guarded by savage crocodile beasts with scales so sharp they cut through bone with the slightest bit of pressure.

Guidelines
Stories and drawings/paintings/doodles must be about time travel. However you think time travel should be done, let us know in short story form (2000 words or fewer) or an image (one image per artist). It must also fit our guidelines in our Submit Work page. Submissions that do not adhere to the requirements will not be considered so read carefully!!!!! If you aren't sure as to what we accept, thumb through our June and July issues or scan the site to see what we're all about.

Only the most curious and imaginative pieces will be chosen and featured in the August issue of Underneath The Juniper Tree. If your pieces doesn't win but we're terribly keen on it (and Tex is in a good mood that day), we'll feature it on the site. The winning images will also be featured in Featured Artists located on the right sidebar.

When emailing us, please put "Time Travel" in the subject line.

With your submission, please include a short bio (50 - 75 words) about yourself written in third person with your name (or alias) and your website if you have one.

Email your story or artistic rendering to junipertreelit@gmail.com
Submission deadline: July 25, 2011
The winners will be announced in the August 2011 online issue which is free for all eager eyes to nom on.

We look forward to reading all your submissions and potentially eating a few. Good luck to everyone!


Don't forget to check out our July issue.

The Boogeyman's Rhyme - Laura Garrison

My parents are shadows that lurk in your closet;

My very first word was an old man's last breath.

I watched from the wings on the night you were frightened

By blood on the white hands of Lady Macbeth.

My laugh is the scuttle of leaves on the sidewalk;

The weeds on your grandmother's grave are my hair.

My friends are the slime-trails that slugs leave behind them,

And I can freeze toads or melt stones with my stare.

My sigh is the hot wind that withers the foxglove;

My heart is the black rat that drowned in your well.

That dust layer under your bed is my dandruff;

The drain in your shower is ripe with my smell.

I might slip a fat spider into your slipper

Or give you an itch in a place you can't scratch.

While you're off at school, I leave lumps in your pillow

(In three or four days they'll be ready to hatch).

I chew on your boogers and old toenail clippings

At bedtime, when serpents and centipedes creep.

Next time you're alone in the darkness, remember:

My children are nightmares that poison your sleep.

The Boogeyman's Rhyme

Laura Garrison

Come back later today to learn about our contest for this month!

'ime'! 'ravel'!

Exactly, Tex. Good show!


Don't forget to check out our July issue.

Sunday Poetry: The Fairy Gothmother - Jenn Preston Chushcoff

The Fairy Gothmother haunts children’s dark dreams.

She tends closet monsters that delight at their screams.

She’s queen of the creepies that hide under beds,

commander of crawlies that little ones dread.

She summons her ravens, beasts and black bats

to trouble bad children, like bullies and brats.

If you’re on The Good List there’s nothing to fear,

but if you’re on the Bad you’d better stay clear

of alleys, old mansions and dank moldy cellars,

since that’s where she keeps her shadowy dwellers.

She’s even made pacts with the kind fairy folk.

They get their flowers while she dons poison oak.

You’ll find her brooding with hands on her hips

in forgotten graveyards and sinking old ships.

Call her by name and she’ll help get you through.

You’ll see she’s not mean, just moody and blue.

But don’t ask for a carriage made from a gourd,

life-threatening shoes or a magical sword.

The Fairy Gothmother stirs grief for your foes.

They trip on their shoes and shoot milk through their nose.

She conjures strange sounds with odd bumps in the night,

seeds minds with bleak nightmares to give them a fright.

So if you’re in a jam and a tyrant’s the cause,

call on your FG and she’ll lay down her laws.

She’ll call upon Justice to even the score

since crooked wrongdoers is what she abhors.

There’s just one more thing I think I should say.

“Justice” is her pet and he brings Judgment Day!

Fairy Gothmother 

Written by Jenn Preston Chushcoff

Illustrated by M. Stagi

To see more of this calibre or macabre, check out our July Issue!


Would you like to see your limerick or poem up on Sunday Poetry? Email it to us at junipertreelit@gmail.com and put "Sunday Poetry" in the subject line.

Blast from the Past - Fox Edition Winners!

The entries were nothing short of horribly creative and terrifying terrific! Thank you to everyone who entered. Your creativity and constant rhythm of words never fails to amaze us.

The toe bribes help as well.

Oh, too true, Tex, too true.

Now – the winner of the Fox Edition is......

Jenn Preston Chushchoff with her piece Now He Has None. The piece will be featured in the August issue of Underneath The Juniper Tree.

I hate waiting, you know.

Don't we all Tex, don't we all! So below is her lovely written ditty with a sea shanty tune we can all sing along to in our minds while we toil away at the day. Let it begin, Jenn!

Charles and Victoria booed and hissed as Johnny sang a favorite sea chantey. The song was in poor taste considering the prior evening’s event. 

     Away, away, get the anchor aweigh!

    Our ship must set sail on the bonny sea.

    Goodbye, farewell. Give a heave, get it done.

    We’re homeward bound, we’re leaving.

    If you don’t pull, you’ll walk the plank

    or have your head nailed to one.

To be fair, Charles had a weak upper body. 

Now he has none.

And just a friendly reminder that your Edward Gorey - Chapter II submission deadline is on Tuesday!

The horror.

Quite. SO! Stop procrastinating and get it done and sent it in. You'll feel better about it in the morning.
junipertreelit@gmail.com 

The Zoo - Tanya Andrious (sneak peek)

      She looked up at the sky. In all her time living in England, Elizabeth could not recall the sky ever looking like Hell was about to break loose. The once slightly moody sky gave way to an intense concoction of red and black. 

     The wind steadily picked up speed and the rain turned to a wall of sleet causing the temperature to drop significantly. Elizabeth considered herself grown up; she thought she was mature for her age, what with being 13 and all. Still, slithers of fear began to creep across her body. Then a drumming of hail pelted the path and for the first time Elizabeth conceded the notion that she might never leave the London Zoo.

The Zoo
Tanya Andrious
lifesdenouement.blogspot.com


For the rest of The Zoo plus many more exciting and horrifying tales and art, come back tomorrow for the July issue! 


And don't forget to enter our contest  by telling a friend about Underneath The Juniper Tree. You could win one of Tex's favourite books! 

Edward Gorey Challenge Chapter 2

First off, don't forget about our Friendly Contest! We want to give you free books. It's easy to enter and anyone can enter as many times (as many friends) as they have/want! Please pay attention to what you have to do or else you won't be entered and we want you to win. So.

Good luck!

Since the unprecedented popularity of the original Edward Gorey Challenge, we have decided that this needs to be a common thing (the Gorey Challenge, not the unprecedented-ness).

We, Tex and I, are hereby instating a monthly Edward Gorey Challenge to honor the murky and mysterious illustrator and Creator of Eerie-ness. All those in favor say "I".

I.

I've already counted you. That is two Yays and zero Nays and so here we are. Welcome to the Edward Gorey Challenge Chapter 2.

For this challenge we want to you look very, very hard at the image below. Good. Now write us three sentences inspired by, describing or relating in any other way to this image. And your three sentences MUST HAVE A TITLE (the title is not considered part of your three sentences so feel free to be as creative as you want)!

Artists, your challenge is to illustrate one image that portrays what you see when you read the sentence below:

"Dreadful, dreadful, DREADFUL. He must be mad to go on enduring the unexquisite agony of writing when it all turns out drivel. Mad. Why didn't he become a spy?"

One image can be submitted per person. Please check the Submit Work page under "Dimensions" to see how you should submit your image.

Deadline for submissions: Monday, July 4. The winners will be announced Friday, July 8.

With your submission please put in the subject line "Edward Gorey Challenge - Chapter 2".

You can submit your work as a word document or directly in the email to junipertreelit@gmail.com and please forgive us in advance if we don't write back to you immediately. Tex is fairly anal about reading and viewing everything we get. With your submission please tell us a little bit about yourself.

For the rest of the guidelines and what should not be submitted, go to our Submit Work page.